


Let It Be Worth It

by heroalba



Category: Senyuu.
Genre: 'Unrequited' love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Puppy Crushes, Violence, cursing, descriptions of injuries, mental breakdowns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 17:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8409991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroalba/pseuds/heroalba
Summary: Alba finds himself almost dead and wondering if some guy he barely even knew is really worth it.Set between parts 1 and 2 of the webcomic, mildly spoiler-y for the beginning of part 2.





	

**Author's Note:**

> other warnings: gratuitous use of the words "stupid" and "dumb", lots of crying, and lots of me projecting heavy emotional bullshit into a fanfiction of a comedy anime

Here he was, rolling out of the way of a set of massive claws he’d felt scrape by too close for comfort already again, lifting his sword to parry the monster’s next blow. If he could just avoid too many major injuries, Alba knew he could probably get around the beast and slip out the cave entrance, get himself and Ruki to safety before he fucked up and got them both killed.

He shoved the monster’s massive claws aside and braced his arms, ready for the next impact. Alba was surprised at the strength the infuriated creature put into its strike, though, and he felt the breath get crushed from his lungs as the hard stone wall dug into his back.

Normally, Alba didn’t even think about how scared he was. How hurt he was. But then he wasn’t normally lying in the dust, listening to Ruki’s panicked crying as he struggled to his feet to avoid another blow, either.

Alba felt flimsy, helpless under the brute strength of the monster he was fighting now. The difference between its level and his was way too high; he shouldn’t have even considered fighting it, but…

His head throbbed and Alba hissed, tears blurring his sight as the dust settled. He rubbed furiously at his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He was a different man, he wasn’t the pathetic little hero who’d relied on Ros anymore. Ros wasn’t there to be relied on anyway.

A small part of him wondered, if Ros saw him now, if he’d be proud of him.

Alba shot a quick, reassuring smile at Ruki and the small demon lord gave him a tearful look in response. He wanted to say something to her and try to comfort her, but before he could even open his mouth she was pointing wordlessly at his opponent, her eyes stretching wide with fear.

The monster towered over him, its eyes glinting cruelly as it gave out a bellowing, spine-chilling roar. Alba struggled not to flinch, grabbing for his sword and feeling his stomach drop. “You can’t be serious-” He dared a quick look down and then back, spotting his sword lying near where he’d been flung before.

Fuck.

Alba couldn’t defend himself without a weapon, his body wasn’t anywhere near strong enough for that and he didn’t have any magical capability. His only choice was to try to make it to his sword, and a glance at the monster told him he had to hurry if he wanted to live long enough to try and escape it.

“Alba!” Ruki’s shout echoed around the cave as Alba turned on his heel, darting for his weapon. He reached out, fingers brushing the hilt, and Alba felt a wave of relief wash over him. He’d made it in time-

Sudden agony pierced his body, and Alba let out a weak noise of surprise as he was pinned to the cave floor by the massive claws he’d been so sure he’d avoided. Hot white pain radiated up from his lower back and stomach and he whimpered, his throat feeling full and his breath scratchy.

Alba could distantly hear Ruki screaming but he couldn’t make out her words, the monster’s growling even fading into a distant hum. There was a loud, rumbling roar and pain again, and the world went black for what felt like an eternity crammed into a second, Alba’s eyes heavy like he’d been sleeping as he blinked them open. He was lying on his side now, could vaguely feel the pressure of rocks digging into his spine. The pounding in his head centered just behind his eyes, each heartbeat dredging up an ocean of pain to drown him in.

Apparently satisfied with his lack of movement, the beast moved on, thankfully ignoring Ruki as she scrambled to Alba’s side, tears streaming down her face. Alba hadn’t realized how still he was until he tried to move and the world dipped for a moment, a nauseatingly warm sensation spreading through him. He looked up at Ruki through his bangs and she carefully brushed his hair away from his face, sniffling and upset.

Why was he doing this, again…? His brain couldn’t seem to come up with any answers, too focused on the pain and with trying to decipher Ruki’s words.

She started to ramble, something about how using the gate now when Alba didn’t have a suit would crack his ribs, and Alba weakly reached to pat her knee reassuringly. Alba swallowed thickly, shifting slightly to see Ruki’s face and feeling how wet his shirt was against the tender skin of his stomach.  “I’m okay, Ruki,” he gasped, proud of how steady his voice was even when that blackness from before threatened to pull him under again from the effort.

Ruki just let out a loud sob and summoned her gate.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You almost died. In case you forgot."  
  
Foyfoy's voice was hard. Alba just looked down at his lap.

Ruki had used her gate to go to the castle and get help, too afraid of hurting Alba's already battered body further by making him go through the gate himself. Foyfoy and Alles had responded to her plea and had managed to cart Alba back with little to no incidents and only minor complaints.  
  
The monster's claws had pierced through his back and stomach, somehow missing his spine. Several of his bones were fractured or broken, and he had a concussion. The least of his injuries were the dark bruises spotting and blooming all over his body.  
  
He was lucky he wasn't dead.

It'd been days and apparently Ruki, Hime, Alles, and Foyfoy had been taking turns watching him. Making sure he didn't “croak in his sleep”, as Alles had oh-so-cheerfully put it. Even Teufel had peeked in on him once or twice.  
  
Ruki had been there when he'd woken up, but she'd long since left. Foyfoy's stern expression made Alba wish she'd stayed.  
  
"Do you have any fucking idea how irresponsible that was?" Alba's lower lip trembled but he remained quiet, thumbing the edge of one of the bandages wrapping his arm.  
  
Foyfoy made an annoyed sound low in his throat. "That thing- these monsters don't give a fuck about your goals. They don't give a fuck about _you_ . What did you _think_ would happen? Did you think that just because you're a 'hero' it'd all work out? This isn’t a manga, Alba."  
  
His words were only met with more silence and Alba could tell he was annoyed by it but he couldn't will himself to say anything.  
  
"And the worst part about this is you probably haven't fucking learned!" Foyfoy's voice sharpened as he went on, "You're gonna go out there again after this and you're gonna keep on 'almost' dying until you actually end up dead." Alba could feel Foyfoy's eyes on him, could feel tears welling in his own. As if he could read Alba's thoughts, Foyfoy hesitated.  
  
"And all this... for what." Foyfoy made a sweeping motion with his arms before letting them fall to his sides. His voice sounded sad. "For some guy you don't even know."

  
_That_ made Alba flinch, and thankfully Foyfoy either took pity on him or just didn't have anything more to say on the subject.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence. Alba's jaw clenched but he again couldn't will words to come out, his thoughts too much for his mouth to keep up with. Foyfoy shifted on his feet, his shoes squeaking on the tile floor.  
  
"I'm right, aren't I?" The sadness in Foyfoy's voice took on the hard edge of anger as he broke the quiet. " _Answer_ me, 45. You're planning to go out there again, aren't you?"  
  
This time Alba _did_ reply, a shaky, hesitant dip of his head as he nodded in affirmation. Foyfoy made a disgusted noise low in his throat, and Alba could feel the glare burning into him almost more than the ache of his unhealed injuries.  
  
"I knew it." Foyfoy strode to the door of Alba's room, letting out a shaky sigh. Alba strained to watch him through the curtain of his hair, anxiety bubbling low under his skin.

  
"Fine by me. You can go out and get yourself killed for all I care. It’s not like you were going to listen to me in the first place." His voice was clipped and short, and he opened the door with every intention of leaving the stupidly determined hero behind.  
  
A sense of panic suddenly overtaking him, Alba lifted his head, his breath catching. His thoughts were too much too quickly. He felt like he was fighting that monster again, only the beast was prowling around in his head instead of in a dark and dusty cave.

"Foyfoy," Alba called quietly, struggling to keep the panic out of his voice, and the ex-hero paused in spite of his better judgement. Alba’s eyes were full of tears, and Foyfoy instantly felt guilt quell his anger.  
  
Alba looked every bit the scared kid he should have been when they'd first started out their journey, his round face pale and his lips pulled tight in a grimace. Foyfoy was stricken with the expression, the feeling of guilt that had been welling up intensifying and all the things he’d said to Alba fresh on his mind.  
  
They stared at each other in silence for a moment before the tears started to fall, Alba's voice strangled and weak around a little sob. "Please stay."  
He couldn't be alone right now. He'd start thinking, and his thoughts made his chest ache with a pain he hated. He felt empty and raw, like a fresh wound himself. He _couldn't_ be alone right now.

  
"Please don't leave me alone." Alba's voice broke and Foyfoy shifted, meeting Alba's eyes for just a split second before he looked down. He felt like he couldn’t look, too ashamed of making Alba cry.  
  
"Look I didn't mean- I'm sorry I yelled," Foyfoy offered, and Alba shook his head, wincing as pain flared down his spine.  
  
"No it's not- not that. You should have-, you were right to-, uh… you should have yelled at me, I was being-... really stupid." The words were followed by a shaky laugh. Foyfoy glanced to the door then closed it. No way could he leave Alba alone like this, his conscious wouldn't let him.

 

Alba watched as Foyfoy cautiously approached the bed again, fidgeting as more tears welled in his eyes. He didn’t want to deal with these feelings, these thoughts, by himself. The prospect of dealing with them at all was scary, and he didn’t know what to do.

The bed dipped as Foyfoy sat down, and the silence continued, only occasionally broken by a soft sniffle. Alba finally gathered the courage to speak, and let out a small, dry laugh. Foyfoy glanced back at him, carefully avoiding his eyes.

“Foyfoy I’m- I just-” He shifted and winced again, scowling down at his lap. It was quiet for a moment, then he began again. “I just- I don’t know what to do. I almost… I almost _died_.” He let out another laugh and the noise was so immeasurably sad that Foyfoy almost reached out to comfort him, curling his fingers into a loose fist to suppress the feeling.

“Yeah. You did.”

Alba hesitated, taking a shaky breath. Panic was already fluttering in his chest, like if he said the thoughts that were plaguing him they’d be true.

“What if it’s… Not worth it. For- for Ros.” His voice was tight and Foyfoy looked up, surprised. Alba bit his lip.

“What if I do all this… What if I almost die like this, or I really die, or I do something really really stupid… And he doesn’t… Come back.” His voice got progressively smaller, tighter as he went on, his jaw clenching as the last word left his lips. The panic grew wings and gripped his throat hard, his fingers balling into tight fists as he stared unblinkingly at them, tried to suppress the feeling.

Foyfoy was stunned into silence. Alba was usually optimistic and even enthusiastic in his venture to go save his friend, to the point where it was a common practice in the castle to make fun of the hero for his excitement. To see him so disheartened and discouraged was… _Sad_. He didn’t know what to do to remedy the situation, and the silence strung out yet again.

It only made Alba’s panic worsen, and he let out a short sob, his arms moving to tighten and wrap around himself. He ignored the faint ache of protest his body gave off, instead trying to focus on the small comfort of being held even if it was only by himself. “I-I don’t- I wouldn’t mind. Dying for this.” Alba drew in a trembling breath and continued, “Is it… It’s selfish of me to want it to be worth something, isn't it? If I. Died or got hurt or got stronger I want it to-” He choked himself off with a muffled cry, and Foyfoy felt a sharp pang of empathy for the younger hero.

“I don’t think it’s selfish.” Foyfoy’s voice was firm and there was a pause in Alba’s sobbing as he looked up, expression teary. Foyfoy felt heat rise to his face and he turned away. He hadn’t intended to speak, unsure of if his words would help or not. He’d just blurted the first thing to come to mind, and he felt awkward even if he knew Alba was in no state to berate him for it.

“You… don’t?” Alba’s voice was raspy and pitiful. Foyfoy shook his head in response, trying to will himself to look at Alba and failing.

“I don’t. I’d think you weren’t human if you didn’t want something for all this. For it to mean something.” Foyfoy looked down at his own lap, immersed in his own thoughts for a split second. “Even if it is a little selfish, I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I don’t think it’s bad to be selfish every now and again.” He tried not to think too hard of Marl, not with Alba sniffling two feet away from him, but the thought crossed his mind and he had to suppress a small chuckle at his own words.

Alba lifted his hands to his face, wiping at his eyes. “I- Thank you, I’m…” He trailed off, wiping again at his eyes as more tears welled there.

“I just don’t…”

Foyfoy finally managed to turn to Alba, his eyes softening at the way he kept rubbing at his face. “I don’t think it’s not worth it, either. For him.” Alba’s expression was grateful when he met Foyfoy’s eyes, his own still watery. A small smile tugged at his lips and Foyfoy fought the urge to turn away again, suddenly feeling awkward again.

“That’s just my opinion though. I still think you’re an idiot for doing dumb shit like this.” Foyfoy said sharply, and Alba’s smile only grew wider.

They both jumped when there was a sound in the doorway, and Alba’s eyes flicked up to spot Alles there, a dissatisfied and vaguely sleepy look on her face. “S’time for our shift, Foyfoy.” She yawned loudly, lifting her hand to her lips, and Foyfoy glanced back at Alba before standing. Of course Alles had to pick this _one time_ to be on time.

“Were you asleep?” he asked, unimpressed, and Alles gave him a cheeky smirk. “Where else would I be?” Alba snorted behind them and Alles peeked around Foyfoy to wave at him. Foyfoy followed her gaze, meeting Alba’s red-tinged eyes with slight worry.

“Hime-chan said she’d stop by soon with some food, you’ll be alright by yourself for a bit right?” Alba blinked slowly, eyes flicking between her and Foyfoy. He fidgeted for a second before nodding. “Yeah. I’ll be okay by myself.” Relieved at the words, Foyfoy felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“You’ve been with the scariest thing in the castle for quite a while, so I’d hope you’d be okay.” Alba couldn’t help but let out a quick bark of laughter, muffling the noise when Foyfoy shot a quick glare at him before moving it to Alles, who didn’t bother to hide her amusement at her own words.

“What? It’s true, you know...” Their words grew distant as they walked out of the room, the door clicking softly as it closed behind them. Alba strained to hear them, letting his eyes close as silence settled over the room when they drew too far away. The empty, hopeless feeling was still there but… Less, somehow.

Alba felt like it was manageable now, and he looked down at his hands with a soft smile. Foyfoy’s words made him feel a little more hero-like, and he tried to steele his resolve.

He’d be alright. He’d make everything alright.

 

**Author's Note:**

> my first multi-chaptered senyuu fic hooray *throws confetti* and also my first decently edited fic i believe?
> 
> anyway i had this HORRIBLE headcanon that alba just. continuously gets fucked up between parts 1 and 2 because he's training to go save ros and ofc he starts off really weak from part 1, so y'know...
> 
> also i had to add foyfoy in and make this a foyalba fic bc this pairing has been on my mind ever since it was brought to my attention and what better way to make use of a fic that ros doesn't primarily star in than to put foyfoy there...
> 
> there will be at least one more chapter to this which will hopefully Hurt Less, but as it stands it took me around ~8 hours to write this (including all the time i wasn't actually writing lol) and it's now 7 am, so i'm going to sleep before starting the next chapter lol


End file.
